How to Temper Your Tone

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

New International Version (NIV)

Was it necessary to speak to me in that tone?

“Not your wife, she is always so sweet,” my neighbor said.  My husband was teasing me about being difficult to please and demanding as our neighbor finished the installation of my new dishwasher.

 

I smiled as my neighbor left and wondered if my husband was thinking how his wife’s sweet words could turn sour at times.  Sad how we are so sweet to others and hurt the ones we love the most.  

On our way to the golf course the next morning my husband asked me to call someone for him as he drove.  Flustered with rushing to get ready, and trying to drink my breakfast shake, I blurted out, “Why do I have to do it now, can’t you wait until we get to town?”

He graciously responded, “Was it necessary to speak to me in that tone?”  What a wise man I have.  He could have fueled the fire by being as rude as I was.  But instead he spoke the truth in love.  And the truth hurts.  I’m so glad he loves me enough to confront me with my behavior.

 

Why is it so easy to temper our tone at work or at church and then allow our tone to turn sour at home and cause offense and hurt those closest to us.  Sometimes I think we get away with it and are not held accountable in a loving way by our spouse or whoever is in our home.  It takes someone being willing to tell us how we hurt them and suggest ways to improve our behavior.

My husband, a counselor by training, uses his skills and compassion with other family members as well.  It is never too late to confront. 

His mother (in her eighties) was very controlling and “ruled the roost” as the saying goes for many years.  His father (in his nineties) was a very kind, gracious man and allowed her to dominate him. 

His father was placed on antidepressant medication which made him aggressive. 

One day when she was sharp in talking to him, he replied gruffly and told her to leave him alone.  She was hurt and later told her counselor son “your father was so ugly to me today.” 

This gave my husband the opportunity to speak the truth in love to his mom.  No one ever talked to her about how unkind she was to her sweet man.  She struggled but submitted to allowing God to change her attitude and her words. 

Just a few months later, her last words as she collapsed in her son’s arms were, “Please let me go - I need to check on your father.”

I’m so thankful my husband did not wait to challenge me with my attitude and tone.   I pray God will help me to think before I speak.  Also may my words and attitude show my husband he is the most important person in my life, and I love him enough to allow him to confront me when I am unkind.

•    Do we use a different tone when talking to our family than we use with clients,
       neighbors or friends?
•    Are we quick to say hurtful things or be impatient with our loved ones?
•    Are we willing to love enough to be confronted with our behavior and attitude?

Father please help us to be clothed with your compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience to the ones we love the most.

Ephesians 4:15 

God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love.

The Message (MSG)

Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Unlimited Data Plan

“I love my phone.”  “I hate my phone.”  How can one be so fickle?  When you upgrade to a new cell phone it is easy! 

After using an android smart phone for several years, I upgraded to a newer version.  At the same time my husband changed from a flip phone with no data plan to an android.  I convinced him it was time to join the “smart phone” generation. 

My son and his family were at our house for Sunday dinner and we were all trying to help Papaw with his phone.  His new phone has a speaking capability and you must use the words exactly to activate the service.  He needs to say, “OK Google now,” wait for the beep and then give a command.  He was frustrated trying to remember the exact words and shouted, “Go Google.”  We all exploded with laughter. 

Today we went to the store and the lovely, patient sales lady gave him more lessons in using his new phone.  He is making progress – he has fourteen days to make a decision about joining the “smart phone” generation.

It is amazing how the cell phone can pull up contacts and make a call or access your calendar or information on the internet with just saying, “Go Google Now” and then making your request.  It even tells you who is calling and asks if you want to talk or send back a text message.  Amazing stuff.

Aren’t you glad we don’t need a smart phone or APP to contact God.  He is always available even without Wi-Fi.  Not necessary to remember a password or pay for a data plan.  We don’t need to pay for an upgrade because he is constantly transforming us.

Romans 12:2 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

God’s smart phone equivalent - a vehicle for information and communication - is the Bible. 

^{Psalm 119:105} Your word is a lamp for my feet,
    a light on my path.

The password is Jesus. 

John 14:6 

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

The data plan is unlimited

Ephesians 1:11-14

¹¹ In him we were also chosen,^[e] having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, ¹² in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. ¹³ And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, ¹⁴ who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.

 and the upgrade is Glory. 

2 Corinthians 3:18(NIV)

¹⁸ And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate^[a] the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Go God!!!

I couldn’t sleep at all last night – tossing and turning.  No, I haven’t been listening to 50’s music by Bobby Lewis.    But that was me last night.

Not sure for reason of insomnia because I usually sleep very well.  I was unusually tired - had lost sleep the night before because of spending five hours in emergency room.  Shortness of breath and chest pains caused my husband to insist that I go to ER to check it out.  Thankfully there was no problem with my heart.  Pain was in lungs -  possibly pleurisy. 

Some of my best blogs were written in my mind last night – but can’t remember what I wrote about today.  After a whirlwind of thoughts I glanced at the bedside clock to realize it was 11:44 pm.  Maybe the Lord wanted me to pray. 

I remembered that our church camp for teens was going on this week and since I was informed that much ministry goes on in the dorms late at night, I prayed for the counselors and kids. 

I prayed for Danielle the teen whose red bracelet I wore to remind me of her week at camp. 

I prayed for the director that she would get a good night’s rest.

I prayed for the teachers, counselors, and other leaders of activities.

I prayed for the kitchen crew, the cleaning crew, and all those who help with meals.

Canal Lake Bible Camp (CLBC) is a wonderful time of ministry for our church during the month of July.  Young and older volunteer their time and talents to share Jesus with kids – mostly those from unchurched backgrounds.  Although exhaoffer the camp at no charge to any child.  God showed up and provided the exact amount needed the first year.  Fund raisers occur throughout the year to provide funds to continue offering the experience free of charge to children in ousting work sometimes, they really enjoy the time spent. 

Several years ago the Camp board decided to ur area as well as many grandparents bring their grandchildren from other states. 

My inability to sleep helped me keep my commitment to pray for CLBC.  God has his way of using our weakness for his strength.  I’m thankful that he never sleeps but watches over us all the time.

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

    where does my help come from?

² My help comes from the Lord,

    the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—

    he who watches over you will not slumber;

⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel

    will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord watches over you—

    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,

    nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all harm—

    he will watch over your life;

⁸ the Lord will watch over your coming and going

    both now and forevermore.

  

Walking in His Strength

Basking in the love of Jesus prepared me for walking in His strength.  I did not know how my world was about to change drastically.  Attending the final team planning meeting in North Carolina for the next Emmaus Walk in March of 2000 was a delight as we listened to team member’s talks and prayed for ladies who would be experiencing their own personal “walk to Emmaus.” 

When I returned home that night (this was before cell phones) I had a message on the answering machine that my husband’s sister Peggy and his mother Virginia had been in a wreck and were taken to local hospitals.  My husband John then called and told me that his mother was taken by ambulance to Blairsville Union General Hospital and for me to go there to see about her.  He was traveling to Atlanta because Peggy was being airlifted to Shepherd Hospital. 

Saturday, March 4, 2000 Peggy and Virginia were traveling to Marietta, Georgia for a baby shower.  Peggy was looking for something in her purse and she went off the road on a curve, tried to pull back on road and the car turned over.  Virginia had her seat belt on and was bruised and broke her back and some ribs.  Peggy did not have her seat belt on (just the lap part) – her head hit the top of the car and she broke her neck and had spinal injury to C5/6 vertebrae. 

My heart was breaking when I saw Peggy the next day at Shepherd Spinal Center in the halo brace to hold her neck and spinal cord straight.  She asked us “who is going to take care of me?”  John and I responded unanimously – “We will,” not fully comprehending what that would mean. 

I quoted her a verse the Lord gave me the night before as I sought the Lord for something – anything to make sense of this.  Rom. 15:3 “May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” 

And so we did care for her - and her parents as well.  In their eighties they were devastated and did not fully grasp the situation for several months.  In April John and I went for family training at Shepherd to find out how to care for her.  What a wonderful hospital – from the intake counselor to the physical therapists and occupational therapists to the doctor and nurses – all wonderful people – so professional and caring.  Shepherd provided funds for John to remodel his parent’s house with ramps and a handicapped bedroom and shower. 

     

Peggy came home from the hospital in May of 2000 and we realized God’s strength as we all became care givers.  Looking back now I am in awe at how God gave us supernatural strength to care for Peggy.  Many would say, “I don’t know how you do it.”  And now, I think, “I don’t know how we did it either.”

God also used this to bring our family closer and helped us realize the scriptures are so real and not just nice platitudes.  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  “My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in Glory by Christ Jesus.”  These and many more sustained us. 

Walking in God’s strength is possible when you bask in his presence.  Nothing is too hard for God. 

Are you facing an impossible situation in your life?  You are not alone.  God wants to give you strength.

Philippians 4:13

New International Version (NIV)

¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Romans 15:13 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Philippians 4:19

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

We Will Remember Song Lyrics | Tommy Walker Lyrics | Christian Music Song Lyrics, Christian Music | NewReleaseTuesday.com

Memories

“No dessert until you play ping pong.”  That was my instructions to folks as they arrived for our Memorial Day Cookout.  I’d worked all day cleaning house and even the garage, putting out chairs for some to sit and watch the ping pong tournament.  However, no one took me up on the challenge.  Some of the men joined my husband at the grill and ladies joined me in the kitchen setting up the dishes they brought. 

It was then I remembered, we are seniors.  You wouldn’t know by the food – I expected fruit instead of delicious desserts.  Many among us had serious illnesses or surgeries in the last few years.  Some had braved knee surgery, back surgery, throat cancer, pancreatitis and Parkinson’s disease.  Spouses were stretched to care for their loved one.  Our prayer lists followed each ones journey back to health.  Survivors you might say don’t need to play ping pong to enjoy one another. 

After dinner, reminiscing about funny military moments for those who served in the armed forces (Army, Navy and Marines) caused all to chuckle.  The alligator story from a former Navy man amused us.  My husband digressed from the military to tell a story from his policeman days about how quick draw McGraw shot his reflection in my new mirror. 

Sharing our stories, while not burning as many calories as ping pong, caused laughter to help digest our food and joy remembering the blessings of God on our lives these many years.  Then the chorus of “We Will Remember” came to mind.  Chorus and link to this song is below. 

Proverbs 17:22
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

We will remember we will remember
We will remember the works of Your hands
We will stop and give You praise
For great is Thy faithfulness

We Will Remember Song Lyrics | Tommy Walker Lyrics | Christian Music Song Lyrics, Christian Music | NewReleaseTuesday.com

Duty calls.                             

“The bobcat does not have an emergency brake.  Can you walk up to the barn and put blocks behind the back wheels?”  my husband called from his trip into town. 

So my morning devotions were interrupted –I  dressed quickly and walked to the barn.  I found some blocks small enough to pick up and put them behind the back wheel of the bobcat, then walked back to the house. 

However, my 

duty was turned into delight. 

Hearing a humming sound from the electric transformer caused me to tune in on other sounds of early morning.  The happy chirping of birds, the clicking of a woodpecker, and the moisture dripping off trees and shrubs had  a refreshing feel.

  Azaleas and irises 

lapped up the moisture and stood up a little taller and blackberries strutted their stuff in full bloom.

 It is “blackberry winter” after all.  The last few cool rainy days washed everything and made the woods so lush.

  Even my snap peas in side garden joined in the celebration. 

Then a song burst from my heart as I sang to the Lord and all the creatures in the woods to hear – 

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning, new every morning – great is thy faithfulness of Lord, great is thy faithfulness.” 

What a refreshing interruption to my morning routine and a

duty turned into delight. 

Hope for Christmas

2013   had been a year of celebrations, graduations, memorable vacations, and reunions.  All of these centered around people – much more important than things. 

The previous year at this time things were almost complete for Christmas –shopping done early, decorating completed and baking accomplished -only a few things left.  What a feeling of accomplishment to complete my list of things to do! 

This year one of my favorite mottos “People are more important than things” has resonated loud and clear to help focus on what is truly important or should I say “Who is really important.”  My husband John was scheduled for back surgery on November 13 and we thought he would be in good shape by Christmas.  Due to some complications he was in severe pain and needed constant care.  Therefore my list of things to do was drastically altered.  The hospital bed in the living room replaced the tree and the outside lights remained in the box on the porch.  Christmas luncheons and dinners were missed.  Trips to the doctor adjacent to my favorite shopping places probably saved us some money! 

Prayers of family and friends, cards of encouragement, calls and visits sustained us during these trying days.   Driving down the road to our Ladies Christmas Coffee (my first time out of the house in almost a month with my son and two men alternately staying with John) I just cried out to the Lord and told him I needed hope.  John did not seem to be getting better.  The verse God gave me previously to encourage others came to mind - Romans 15:13 “May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”   At the Coffee that day several ladies asked about John and how he was doing and also about me – then one lady looked me in the eye and asked “How are you really doing?”  Not being a very emotional person – strange for a lady right – I said, “Ok.”  And then the flood of tears came as I told her I was having a hard time.  She promised to continue to pray for John and me.  Another lady agreed to stay with John while I volunteered at our church food cottage the next week.  Friends also came and stayed with him.  Then twelve men (and one lady) from our church came and prayed for John anointing him with oil.  Hope – that is what I needed.  Hope that things would get better for John and also that I could get out of the house knowing he was in good hands.  

    

John is getting around the house better and in less pain.  He is enjoying his independence not having his shadow (me) following his every move.  We were able to attend one Christmas party actually on his birthday and celebrated his birthday with Johnny and his family the following Sunday.  We will host our family on Christmas Eve and although the house will not be decorated as last year we will enjoy the people in our lives and let the things go. 

Grandson with my husband in living room on Christmas morning by the hospital bed!

I hope you are enjoying the people in your life and realizing the much more of our heavenly Father.

Blessings,

Pat

Search and Rescue

Who would have thought that at my age I would be searching on the floor for a blue green contact lens?  No it does not belong to my grandchild but to me.  You’d think that by now I would be more careful or at least give up and just wear glasses.  Being smart for once I was removing my gas permeable contact lenses (that’s hard lenses) before taking a nap.  The right lens popped out easily and was placed correctly in the blue side of the container.  Then pulling up and out on the corner left eye lid nothing seemed to come out.  Seeing no lens in the sink I tried again.   Nothing.  Hmmmm it must be stuck in my eye.  Rolling around my eye lid it seemed wedged in the side – very common for these characters.   No luck there.  It must be on the floor. 

I called in the chief of search and rescue – my husband John –who brought a flashlight to begin the surveillance.  He couldn’t see anything because he didn’t have his glasses on so while he was gone I got on the floor and searched every nook and cranny of the rug since that is usually where the contact lands.  Nothing but grey hairs and dust.  More dust was found on the edges of the sink cabinet as well as the ceramic tile floor.  Ye gads I’m glad my guests don’t come in my bathroom they wouldn’t believe how dirty it is – dust everywhere.  John returns with his glasses and another flash light.  He has on large outdoor boots and I cringe as he walks into the bathroom.   He examines the floor and then marches down the hall since I walked there to get my shoes after thinking the lens was trapped in my eye.   Even looking in my eye with his flashlight reveals zero.  So he gives up and leaves.

 

Continuing my investigation I retrace my steps, examining the counter top, the bathroom rug, the floor and the hallway rug again.   Scanning in spots where the critter has been found before was to no avail.  Then I pray, “Lord, you know where the contact is.  Please help me find it even if it is crushed.”  I comb the same areas again with my flashlight hoping for a shiny reflection.  Then, there in the hallway outside the bathroom, just where John walked with his big outdoor boots and I also walked about five times glitters the perfectly shaped left, long distance, gas permeable contact lens.   Mission accomplished.  Persistence paid off.  Or did it?

Not the first time the Lord helped me find a contact lens.  So why wait until all means of searching are exhausted.  Yes, I was praying the whole time – or was I?  When I finally stopped and specifically requested his help he came through in a nanosecond to rescue my plight. 

May my life be a reflection of God’s admonishonment in Matthew 6:33-34 

 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.